Week 39: The last week!

I can recall almost exactly when the screaming started. It began the night before, and I’m sure the whole street could hear. It was at around 9:30pm, in the 78^th minute of the Arsenal vs Barcelona Champions League quarter final: my yells of joy, as Van Persie scored a goal of exquisite precision and power, would have awoken the neighbours, I’m sure. 

More shouts of excitement followed after another Arsenal goal that would win them the game, beating one of the world’s best footballing teams. What a moment.

Shortly before full-time I heard Jas make what I thought were encouraging football-related noises. Looking in her direction, I realised she was on all fours on the floor and moaning in agony. 

“What’s up?”
“My belly is sore.”
“Oh. Is it labour?”
“No, it doesn’t feel like labour.”

I went over and gave her back a rub (thankfully in full view of the exciting final stages of the game).

Jas: “How much longer to go in the game?”
“Eight minutes.”
“Okay. Can you help me get to bed after the game? I’m finding it hard to move.” Such a marvellously considerate wife I have.

I was awoken at 1am. “The pain is worse.”
“Oh. More intense?”
“It hurts more, about every ten minutes.”
“Sounds like labour...?”
“No, it doesn’t feel like labour.”

It was labour. 

I spent the next few hours pumping up and filling a birth pool in our living room, as well as intermittently holding Jas’ hand; she was slightly pre-occupied as well with ever-intensifying primal surges. Once I had the pool water temperature right, Jas slipped into the water for some pain relief, followed by myself shortly after to provide what little support I could as the natural forces overcame her. 

Two midwives and our doula were ever present with their fantastic assistance and encouragement. Jas and I were in the little pool for many hours, in which Jas slowly became exhausted with effort while I basically had a long bath. 

Eventually, a little boy was born in our home to the cheering of our assistants. It was a beautiful moment, easily eclipsing the excitement of the night before.  

Welcome, Zane.

The next chapter: Raising Zane

Week 25

The pregnancy literature typically marks each month of pregnancy with what can be expected in the mum & baby: together with the aches, cramps and growth spurts there has always been “continued absent-mindedness”, which Jas has marvellously shown on numerous occasions. However, in month seven we can apparently expect “increasing absent-mindedness”, which I found mildly disturbing...and Jas gave an excellent reason for me to find it mildly disturbing the same day that I read it. I came home from work – before Jas did - to find a candle in our bedroom burning away; Jas had lit it in the morning – 11 hours previously – and duly forgotten about it. I began to wonder how our house was going to last the full term! Our thoughts of having a home birth might be limited to a marquee with a camp fire in the garden beside our blackened abode. Perhaps I should start to child-proof the house now and hide all the matches...

Humorously, I did the same thing the next day. Ha ha. We had a few candles lit in the bathroom in the evening...Jas found one of them burning early the next morning. Naturally, I was just making Jas feel better about her absent-minded incident. 

If I might be so bold, I’m getting quite knowledgeable with this pregnancy business. When Jas was telling me about a colleague of hers who had given birth by caesarean (“through the sun-roof” as my father-in-law beautifully describes it), I asked if the incision was vertical or horizontal. Jas looked at me as though she was about to ask the being who had just entered my body to kindly leave, but instead asked “Why?” Well, apparently it matters for future births – it’s better to go horizontal than vertical.

I’d also started diagnosing Jas’ ailments. When she complained of a brand new kind of cramp, I promptly indicated that it was probably Braxton Hicks contractions. She looked at me questioningly (really, I think she needs to spend less time baby shopping!), and I explained that it was a temporary tightening of the uterine muscles, getting practice for the heavy duty contractions that will be squeezing our little one into the world.

    

Anyway, enough of the medical malarkey. We’ve been playing with our little one. Jas’ bump has quickly become as round and tight as Roseanne Barr’s fitness ball during a workout, and occasionally she pops it out to play with when we’re bored. Our little one seems to respond to a spot of belly rubbing or poking, and wriggles about to our touch. Maybe we’re just annoying him and he’s trying to get more comfortable! Whichever it is, it’s entertainment for us... 

The little one also likes to play. With balls. During one of Jas’ pilates lessons she was lying side down with a small ball under the belly. As soon as the ball came in contact with the belly, little “Beckham in a bag” started kicking vigorously at the ball. Was this coincidence? Jas rolled onto the other side for the same exercise...as soon as the ball touched the other side of his dome, he thumped the ball again! If he was reaching the other side with his foot, maybe he was practicing his overhead kick. Maybe we have a future Arsenal player in the making. It’d be the most likely way I'd get a season ticket!